Twentysomething

That word makes me cringe. Or even worse, quarterlife crisis. Are you kidding me? But at the same time, I feel like there's a little validity to the terms. I glimpsed at an article in the Flagpole today entitled "Twentysomething Can Be The Cruelest Season" and it made me laugh outloud and feel validated at the same time

I mean, think about it. No money. Lots of instability. No money. Only memories of college days. No money. Friendships that are far more "difficult" to maintain and enjoy than before. Did I mention no money?

I could go on, but I feel that you might get my point. It seems that the 20s are the practice room, the kitchen of life, if you will. There's a whole lot going on in these years that is just plain hard. Period. I'm being pushed in ways that aren't fun, and it feels like the dry/lonely/discouraging times far outweigh the fun, glorious days. But that's what happens in the kitchen -- the dirty work gets done here, the food gets prepared, the chefs slave away -- and the guests are oblivious to the toil.

The real deal (or so it seems) is the main course. The fruit of all the labor. And man is it good. At least in terms of food. And it's tempting for me to think of life that way as well.

'Get me outta here!!!!!' is what my mind is wanting me to believe. Give me a real job, or rather a man and a family, and some stability to count on, and a few core friends, and a lot of community to pour into and learn from. And just enough money to feel at ease, nothing more. You know what I mean? I live in my mind, in the 'whatifs' of the future, way too much.

Except the thing is, I don't think that life works like that. As much as I would like to think that this kitchen of life will lead to a fantastic meal of days beyond this twentysomething cycle, I just don't buy it. Life's not that simple. There is no culmination to this beautiful mess of life. That's just what it is, a mess. Money will always seem tight. Friends will always come and go. Stability, does that even exist? And as much as my heart longs for a man and a family, I know deep down that they will inevitably leave me wanting.

And so I'm back to my same song. I have no qualms with stating this over and over, as much for myself as for anyone reading this: God is my portion, and He's the only Thing in this mess that will meet my needs. Regardless of how messy my living space called life is.

So yeah, these years aren't the easiest. But I can't leave out some of the good I was reminded of today: the freedom of life that is just status quo as a student, the gift of knowledge and the ability to be stretched and challenged by learning everyday, the unique paths and people that I come in contact with daily, etc. etc. etc. There is a whole lot of blessing mixed into the strife.

Twentysomething? Yeah, I think it's bunk. What's next, Thirtysomething, Fortysomething, Seventysomething?? When does it stop? It doesn't.

Just live. Is it wrong to question your mess sometimes? Not at all. Is it bad to plan for the future? Never. But just remember to live. With intention. And praise God that He is your Portion, and that for some crazy reason, He is glorifying Himself through your messy, twentysomething (or thirtysomething, etc.) days.

I'm still alive

Though slightly caught up in life at the moment. Sorry for the lapse of silence that has been the past month. It should in no way indicate that I am without thoughts and things to share, cause we all know, I always have things to share. :) It's time that is the real problem.

And now I'm off to get my tan on...I mean, swim laps. More thoughts to come...

Score!

I've been needing some new tunes for awhile now. I'm a cheapskate, however, when it comes to buying CDs, because I refuse to be robbed by the music companies asking ridiculous amounts for new CDs. $15 for a CD -- who do you take me for??!!? Used book/cd stores and ebay are my playground when it comes to music, and I got to visit my favorite store in all of ATL this afternoon. Ahhh....I could have spent hours and hours. I might have, had I not been in a building with no public restroom. :( In the hour or so that I was there, however, I found...drumroll, please...the new Weazer! Yes, I'm excited. Track 4, "Hold Me," is amazing. I also picked up Gavin DeGraw (I have a penchant for men who can sing and play piano) and the soundtrack to "A Lot Like Love" which, admittedly, isn't the most amazing movie about love ever made, but it was well-done and has some great songs that take me back to my high-school days.

Oh, did I mention that I'm not camping? Yeah, well, apparently Mr. Weatherman didn't catch the huge rainstorm that has refused to leave the area. Seriously, I feel like I'm in Seattle. My poor dad had already gone up on Tuesday to pick out a spot and get some trout fishing in before my mom and I came up. He spent two miserable days in a soggy tent with swollen rivers incapable of being fished and no dry firewood.

Yuck.

He came home this afternoon, so in the past day that my mom and I have been enjoying together we have managed to get in both Bridget Jones' movies and a lot of goofiness. It has been a good reminder of the way things can be with my mom, the fun times we can share when stress, school, men, you name it are not around.

Have I mentioned that I'm training for a triathlon? I've been reticent to mention it here because of the added acountability. But heck, at this point I need that. I need that extra measure of exposure...no one wants to disappoint, right? So the skinny is all here, and I really feel like it's do-able. Why California, you ask? A friend from Wheaton is spending his summer out there and, having bit by the triathlon bug when he participated in this same tri last summer, has invited a bunch of Wheaton alum to come out and have fun together. And, I mean...it's California, need I say more? I'm looking forward to spending a few days in the beauty of God's creation and fellowship with friends. Now if I can just figure out how to ship my bike out there and get a flight without spending all my cash. The fun begins...